I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
