they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
