I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize