I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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