I am puke
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
