i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
