Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
