I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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