WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
