I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
