i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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