do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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