I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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