i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
