No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
