We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize