I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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