she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What drink are we having for lunch?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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