You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
