SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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