Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?

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(618): do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like? http://tfl.nu/izmu

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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bisexual people are plain selfish.

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(419): Bisexual people are plain selfish. http://tfl.nu/ksuw

Replies (53) Good night (4023) Bad night (1081)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof

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(913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof http://tfl.nu/58vn

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(+43): View more from

my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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(+43): my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe http://tfl.nu/lh72

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen

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(814): we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen http://tfl.nu/nfcd

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks

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(412): I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks http://tfl.nu/tkbs

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(605): View more from South Dakota

And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.

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(605): And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same. http://tfl.nu/7gpg

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(407): View more from Florida

I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

(646): View more from New York

LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

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(407): I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair. (646): LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES http://tfl.nu/6j0d

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(269): View more from Michigan

We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash

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(269): We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash http://tfl.nu/cbce

Replies (3) Good night (1132) Bad night (403)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.

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(978): Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story. http://tfl.nu/gzmk

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(314): View more from Missouri

We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love

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(314): We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love http://tfl.nu/whb6

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.

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(715): I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/kgj7

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(734): View more from Michigan

Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint

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(734): Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint http://tfl.nu/7p3b

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Can't feel body but making pizza rolls

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(203): Can't feel body but making pizza rolls http://tfl.nu/bvzo

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