Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today

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  (646): your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today http://tfl.nu/czz0
  Replies (3) Good night (2394) Bad night (4506)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

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  (303): Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/gotu
  Replies (58) Good night (3928) Bad night (1108)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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  (902): Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight. http://tfl.nu/0w7l
  Replies (25) Good night (4517) Bad night (640)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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  (214): It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil... http://tfl.nu/iyla
  Replies (24) Good night (4841) Bad night (2047)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice

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  (732): There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice http://tfl.nu/ufj4
  Replies (7) Good night (2432) Bad night (815)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

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  (608): NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/icmx
  Replies (11) Good night (2087) Bad night (966)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces

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  (443): And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces http://tfl.nu/q5gv
  Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (1837)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.

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  (772): Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with. http://tfl.nu/bsvi
  Replies (14) Good night (924) Bad night (448)
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  (949): View more from California

  What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?

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  (949): What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"? http://tfl.nu/v4r0
  Replies (5) Good night (374) Bad night (696)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant

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  (217): yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant http://tfl.nu/oubr
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (373)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover

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  (602): Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover http://tfl.nu/gmcv
  Replies (0) Good night (369) Bad night (243)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.

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  (310): I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r5b0
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (659)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk

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  (913): That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk http://tfl.nu/2k25
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (474)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.

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  (613): Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/f8yo
  Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (473)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

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  (917): Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air. http://tfl.nu/q0rt
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (196)

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