She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war