nut hugger
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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