I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
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Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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