Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
