The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I am never drinking with the goths again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom