Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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  (716): Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her http://tfl.nu/fzg2
  Replies (5) Good night (883) Bad night (3746)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed

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  (615): Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed http://tfl.nu/jhxa
  Replies (3) Good night (2766) Bad night (842)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.

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  (407): My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options. http://tfl.nu/3za2
  Replies (33) Good night (3878) Bad night (1560)
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  (077): View more from

  it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner

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  (077): it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner http://tfl.nu/m2q7
  Replies (28) Good night (689) Bad night (4247)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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  (808): drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night http://tfl.nu/q31t
  Replies (23) Good night (3803) Bad night (1118)
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  (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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  (562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7
  Replies (13) Good night (4533) Bad night (1159)
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  (914): View more from New York

  say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.

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  (914): say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/783h
  Replies (5) Good night (2283) Bad night (909)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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  (814): Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uh0q
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (1241)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa

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  (240): Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa http://tfl.nu/w8sz
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (411)
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  (323): View more from California

  I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game

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  (323): I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game http://tfl.nu/sbp7
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (469)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.

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  (519): I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person. http://tfl.nu/mw9z
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (371)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break

  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.

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  (425): Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break (425): Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk. http://tfl.nu/ki3s
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (423)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle

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  (301): Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle http://tfl.nu/p4yo
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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  (573): Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo" http://tfl.nu/w19f
  Replies (1) Good night (860) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.

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  (508): Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming. http://tfl.nu/osws
  Replies (0) Good night (481) Bad night (290)

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