He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
