return my video game
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
