He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
