just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
