no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
