I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
