one two three fourrrrnication!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
