I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
