1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
