The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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