i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
