THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
