butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're my little dorito
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
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