Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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