The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
