I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
