he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
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A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
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The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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