I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it because I queefed?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
PANTIES FOUND
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
