i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
