Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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