Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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