If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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