ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
