In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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