She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
