Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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