That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
