spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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