i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
