Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize