I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
