Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
