Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
