My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
