she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
