They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
