last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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