Are we in a gay sports bar?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
