Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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