I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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