I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
